Imagine...

For those of you who are parents, think back to the last time your child was sick. Your little one probably felt awful or at the very least not themselves, and you probably spent a night (or even two or three) without much sleep, exhausted but worried and checking on them throughout the night.

Now imagine if this scenario was every day, every night...and there was no end in sight. No time you could tell your child when they might feel better.

I have a lot of very important ladies in my life. Today I'd like to tell you about my sister, Brenda and her daughter, Abby.

When Abby was only 2 years old, she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. In an instant, her life forever changed, as did the lives of my sister and the rest of their family. For my sister, she went from being a mom to also being a pancreas for her daughter. She immediately picked up where Abby's little body had given out and took charge of her testing, her carb counting, her food intake, and her insulin.

To me, she turned into Superwoman that day. It has been 8 years now, and she has been a force. If one person could singlehandedly change the course of Type 1 Diabetes, it has met its match in her. She has spent the last 8 years researching, raising money, and trying to educate people who still think that diet and exercise will cure Type 1 Diabetes. (Sidenote: It absolutely will NOT. Type 1 and Type 2 Diabetes are NOT the same thing.)

All the while, she has continued to raise her beautiful children and her sweet Abby, who is growing into such a kind, sweet, and loving girl.

I can't even tell you the number of needles she has had to give. I bet she could. I can't tell you the amount of worry she has felt, the number of carbs she has counted and the math she has done to measure out just the right amount of insulin, all the while knowing that even on the days everything goes perfectly, Abby's body can still decide to have a scary low.

I can't tell you what it did to her a few years ago when Abby's numbers dropped so low (which can happen during the night) that she had seizures one morning and had to be hospitalized. I can imagine though...and I know I don't want any of them to have to go through that again.

I want Abby, and all of the other children with Type 1 Diabetes, to be able to run and play without having to worry that their numbers will drop too low. I want them to be free of the precarious dance between the carb count and the insulin, the finger pricks, the needles, the doctor's appointments, and the hospitalizations. At its unthinkable worst, I don't want their parents to have to worry that they won't wake up one morning.

I want them all to sleep easy at night and for the parents to be able to tell their children that there is a cure, and that there IS a time they are going to feel better and be free of this.

Insulin is NOT a cure. The research is being done, and I feel like they are so close...that we could actually see a CURE come in Abby's lifetime.

Imagine that. :)

Abby's first medic alert bracelet, from when she was 2, is on the left.

There is no greater force in this world than a parent on a mission.

Their worst day. Insulin is NOT a cure.

Abby girl now. :) The flyer for this year's fundraising event in support of JDRF.

Leah and Tommy...

Usually the words for a wedding blog post come pretty easily to me. I tend to focus the storytelling on how the couple met and what the wedding day was like.

Yesterday it hit me just how much more there is to it.

Leah and Tommy. I'm sitting here trying to find the right words to do their story justice, to focus on the most important parts of the day, to describe their personalities. My backspace key is getting a workout today.

There is so much more to it.

The truth is, I don't know Leah and Tommy that well. I haven't known them for years the way their friends have. I don't know their histories the way their families do. I can't tell you their favorite food, color, or book.

What I can tell you is they are both so loved by their family and friends, and Leah and Tommy have clearly made both groups of people a huge priority in their life.

I can tell you they are two of the loveliest people I've ever met, with hearts of gold and smiles and laughs that are contagious.

I can tell you that through the joy and laughter and rhythm of yesterday, they were also quietly sharing parts of themselves that were vulnerable.

I can tell you that yesterday really opened my eyes. Maybe I was looking at things differently, trying to pay close attention and take everything in since it was the last time...but I truly think it's just the kind of people Leah and Tommy are, who their friends and family are, that changed my view.

I can tell you that being invited in to share in someone's greatest joys is wonderful. Being invited in to share in their greatest sorrow is a privilege.

Make no mistake, the day was full of joy and a beautiful celebration of an incredible couple. But there is so much more to the story, always. In this life, we tend to pass by each other, maybe make some small talk, never knowing the entirety of someone else's story. Pay attention and you just might learn.

In 2011, Leah's family lost her younger sister Emily in a terrible car crash. The resilience that they have shown as people, as a family - and Leah and Tommy as a couple - merely by surviving, is a testament to who they are. Leah's mom, Lorie, gave the most beautiful speech at the reception...to paraphrase, in addressing Tommy, she said, "You saw us at our very lowest, and still, you stuck around."

Celebrating the good times is the easy part. True love, true friends, true family, sticks around for everything else. Leah and Tommy, you two have changed my world. Thank you for letting me in yours.

Below are some photos that, with Leah's permission, I am sharing. They are not the best, glossy, posed photos in perfect lighting, but a few real moments from life as it happens.

The Last One

Tomorrow I'm shooting my last wedding...for at least a year, possibly ever. I would be remiss if it didn't make me a little nostalgic, a little introspective, and a lot reminiscent. I looked up my "stats", if you will, of these last 6 years: 32 weddings and 18 engagement sessions...or in photography terms, approximately 470 shooting hours and well over 1200 editing hours. (That's a lot of editing, my friends)

There are other numbers that I don't have to look up or calculate...5 100+ degree days, 4 churches with no air conditioning, 3 torrential downpours, 3 weddings during the 2011 flood, 1 wedding guest fender bender, 1 party bus backing into my truck. (yes, that happened!)

Mostly what I'm left with are the things, the memories, for which there is no number...meeting a couple for the first time, hearing their story, and having them invite me into their world on one of the biggest days of their lives; getting to know their friends and families, joking with Dad and offering to buy him a drink if he will pretty please just smile for the family photos; the first looks, the nerves, the joy, the laughter, the tears; the sorrow at those whose passing meant they couldn't be there that day; the looks on the faces of parents and grandparents as the couple says their vows; the relief when the ceremony is over; and my favorite, the laughing-drinking-toasting-dancing of the reception.

There are, of course, things I won't miss (that's a whole other blog post, honey!), but the thing I will miss most has to be the incredible couples I get to meet and spend time with each season, and in many cases, the friendships that have remained long after the wedding day. To all of my couples - thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for trusting me with such an important part of your lives. I have loved getting to do this for the last 6 years.

Here's to tomorrow's couple - Leah and Tommy. It's a great one to go out on - let's make it epic! :)

If My Voicemail is Full...

My voicemail is almost constantly full or near capacity.

I am a person of great contradiction.

These two thoughts are actually related.

I realized some time ago that I rarely talk on the phone anymore, to anyone. When I was in junior high and high school, you couldn’t get me OFF the phone. But with a career, a spouse, and a child, evenings and weekends seem to fill up quickly and not leave a lot of time for long chats on the phone. Even with some of the people I love most in this world.

Yet, I went through and resaved what seemed like a million voicemail messages again the other day, just to get to a new one. I realized I have been doing this since 2008, and some of them have been on there that long. My sister Maureen’s first message to me after I had my daughter...a Christmas message from my sister Brenda...a message from my baby sister, Kayla….one from my Mom, my Dad, Marc, my mother-in-law…the list goes on.

Why would somebody save messages from people they can just pick up the phone and talk to? Because on an August day in 2008, I fully realized someday I might not be able to. And what has stuck with me all of these years later is watching my husband on that August day, calling his Dad’s cell phone after he died, just so he could hear his voice one more time. I realized that when someone dies, their loved ones look for something, ANYTHING tangible they can hold onto. And so I started saving messages.

So, if I don’t get to talk to you on the phone as often as I’d like, please know that I am loving you and holding onto you with all my heart.

And if my voicemail is full, know that the space is being used for those closest to my heart. And, as soon as I figure out how to save them, I will make room for your message too.

Close to my heart...

It's pretty rare these days that I photograph anything aside from weddings... but every now and then, I get asked to do something so special that I can't possibly say no. So when one of my very first couples, Lynze and Jeff, called and asked me for some photos, I couldn't help but reply with a resounding "YES!!!!!!"

You see, Jeff and Lynze are about to become parents for the first time. They have traveled a very long road to get to this point... SIX YEARS, to be exact. They have struggled through the heartache, pain, and trials of infertility, but are now expecting TWINS. I felt like I was shooting through tears for most of our afternoon together.... so thrilled for such an amazing couple, and so happy for these incredibly lucky babies, who get to have them for parents.

Jeff and Lynze,  SO much love and congratulations to both of you.

Losing your job and learning lessons along the way

Most people don't know this, but I lost my job a few months ago. (My day job for those that only know me through my photography business) Well, we'll call it "reassigned to a different department". The company I was employed with for over 6 years lost their contract, and a new company took over.

In one fell swoop I lost the promotion I had earned three years before, my title, my office, forty percent of my pay...and of greatest surprise to me, a piece of my identity.

I have never been one to feel defined by their career. Or so I thought. It shouldn't shock me, I suppose. I mean, work IS where we spend the majority of our waking hours, isn't it?

Still, it knocked me off my feet and for a short time, into a dark place. I feel very lucky that it took 36 years to truly experience what depression felt like, and even luckier that it was very, very short-lived. I've always considered myself a pretty positive, happy-go-lucky-everything-will-always-work-out kind of person. Hell, it's my mantra - my husband even says it now. But for the first time, I could empathize with people who experience depression on a daily basis, and it gave me new insight/understanding of what they go through, how they're not able to just pull themselves out of it. I will admit, I couldn't quite grasp that notion before. Lesson numero uno.

Going from being the boss to being an employee, where one of your employees is now YOUR boss is a humbling experience as well. Again, I am fortunate that our small group has been working together so long that we are like a family, and they were all incredibly accomodating and understanding of how I might feel with such a change. But, being on the other side of the equation again did help me to see some of the errors of my ways in being a manager and, at times, only thinking of the good of the company first. While that is of course important, so are the lives each of us lead every day - and sometimes both can and should be considered (and weighed carefully) at the same time. It also helped me to see that each of us are perfectly, imperfectly human, but at the end of the day if the work is getting done, I could stand to ease up and let people do things the way they know how to do it. Also, being in charge is REALLY stressful and sometimes it's nicer to be the employee! I also have the best co-workers in the world and you can't put a price on that. Lessons two, three, and four.

Lastly, and perhaps the greatest lesson I learned, is that my husband and my child think the world of me no matter what my title or status in life. The hardest day, my last day in my old position, when I had to pack up my office and race downstairs to the safety of our truck before I started sobbing, my husband gave me the best gifts he could have...a) chocolate, and b) a card that said he believed in me and knew that one day I would have a new job, a new title, and a new office, or that maybe this was all meant to open a completely different door for me...but no matter what, everything would all work out. Throughout the last few months, he has supported me every single day. Every time I was feeling down, he would scoop me and my deflated, stupid ego up off the floor, dust us both off, and repeat the mantra..."Everything will work out, and even if you don't ever have an office or a title again, as long as you find something you enjoy that makes you happy, that's all that matters."

So, I'm sitting here thinking on a Sunday evening...as I get ready to start my last week at my job on the base and venture into something brand new, I am happy. I am excited for this new adventure. I have no idea if my new job comes with an office, and I truly don't care. I will be excited if I have a window, and anyone who works with me will get that joke.

I am beyond blessed with the family, friends, and coworkers I'm surrounded by. With all of them by my side, I know everything will always work out. I will never doubt that mantra again.

And the winner is...

Announcement Day! I think this is one of my new favorite days in the history of ever!!!

You didn't make it easy, couples. The stories just seem to keep getting better and better, and this year was no exception. We had some incredible love stories and amazing couples...but in the end, there can be only one.

It took our panel of six judges all week to decide.

Ok, enough suspense.

Congratulations Karen & Max, you are the winners of the 2015 Wedding Photography Giveaway!!!!! Lynsey and I are beyond excited to shoot your BIG DAY next June!

Here is a photo of the winning couple and their beautiful love story that had at least 4 judges crying. The other 2 will not confirm or deny anything.

We met on October 4th, 2008. It was Michigan State University's Homecoming game; I was down visiting a friend for the weekend and Max was living in East Lansing at the time and also had some of his friends down for the big game weekend.

As fate would have it we ended up at the same bar that night; Harpers in downtown East Lansing. I was waiting at the bar to order drinks with my friend and Max and a friend were casually waiting next to us. Naturally conversation was started between the 4 of us and when the bartender finally came around to our side Max offered to get us girls a shot. What a gentleman right ;) I personally am NOT a fan of shots, but who's going to turn down a free drink when you're 23...graciously we accepted. Max reached out to hand me my tequila shot and somehow ended up dropping it straight down to my feet; I told him no worries I didn't really want a shot anyway and we parted each going back to own friends. 

Later on that night we bumped into each other at the bar again and I said "Hey! You owe me a drink!" (Max claims at this point in the story that he searched me out, maybe he did, but to me at the time it seem like pure coincidence) Of course he got us both a drink (Rum and Coke this time) and we started chatting. We talked the whole rest of the night; both of our separate parties of friends ended up moving on for the night, but we just sat and talked and drank and talked some more; by night's end he gave me cab money to get back to my friend's house and walked me out to wait for it to come pick me up. He let me put his sweater on while we waiting (it can get pretty brisk on an Oct night in MI) I gave him my number and told him to call me sometime; just as I went to get in the cab to leave he reached out to me and said "Wait can I get my sweater back?" (I still make fun of him for this...worried he'd never see me or the sweater again) 

But that was not the case, the very next week he called me to see if he could take me out on a "real date." I lived in my hometown, Alma Michigan, at the time which is about 45 minutes north of East Lansing where Max lived and he came all the way up to Alma to take me out the very next Saturday. After that we were inseparable. We talked on the phone every single night for hours on end and we would take turns going back and forth from Alma and East Lansing each weekend to spend time together. By Thanksgiving that year we were officially using the "boyfriend/girlfriend" labels...that's when you know it's serious right :) 

We had a blissful first year together, but it wasn’t easy. Max's dad passed away from cancer in June of 2009 (we'd been dating just 8 months) and that's when I got to meet the whole family. It’s hard enough meeting the whole family immediate and extended at your significant other's father's funeral, but also to be told the whole time "Ooo Max has never brought a girl home for us to meet before" talk about pressure! Then in July we found out that Max was getting deployed to Afghanistan in September (he was in the Army Reserve then, he's transferred to the Air Force now) So at only 11 months together we said goodbye to each other  for a year while he went over seas. Max tried to break up with me before he left saying he didn't want to put me through the tough times of the deployment. I told him No! That is not a reason for us to break up! I told him I loved him and I wanted to be with him no matter how “hard” it was going to be. I reminded him that he was going to need my support as much as I would need his to get through the deployment together.  That's what we did, he was able to call me probably about once a week at least even it was only for a few minutes, (I pretty much had my phone glued to my hand the whole year never knowing when the next long awaited call would come though) I would email him every night before I went to sleep just telling him what I did that day and what was going on back home; even when I had days where I literally had nothing of interest to tell him about he still said it was fun to read my boring nonsense about what TV shows I watched after work that day. He left in September of 2009 and got home in September of 2010. It was a long hard year, when I look back at it now it feels like an eternity ago, but I think it did make us stronger  as a couple and so much more appreciative of our time with each other and all our loved ones. 

When Max got home from Afghanistan in 2010 we took the next big step and moved in together. He had decided after his deployment that he wanted to go back to school and into a completely different field. He was a surveyor when we met and he has gone back to school to become a Speech Language Pathologist. He hopes to soon be working at a VA hospital with wounded veterans needing therapy to learn to speak, chew or swallow again. We moved to Lansing together when he got back; he started taking classes at Lansing Community College and I quit my job in Alma and started working at another  Insurance company in Lansing. After the first year at LCC Max was able to transfer into Grand Valley State University in Grand Rapids to finish his bachelor’s, so in 2011 we moved to Grand Rapids. (Lucky for me insurance is an industry you can move relatively easily in) Max graduated from GVSU last spring and was accepted into Grad School at Grand Valley this winter; he will be graduating with his Masters in Speech Language Pathology in April of 2015. 

We both LOVE to travel, we had been planning a 2 week trip to Europe a little over a year; we just went this past Christmas through the New Year. We went to Amsterdam, Berlin, and Prague. Max proposed to me on Dec 28th 2013 in Prague; it was magical. I can't say I was totally surprised, we've been together a little over 5 years now, I had a feeling it was coming, but it was still a simply breathtaking moment. Just like a movie, perfect!

We decided to wait until Max gets done with grad school to give ourselves a little time to relax and for him to start the job search before we have the wedding, so we decided on June of 2015; it can not get here soon enough! I can not wait for him to be finally be able to do his dream job!! And for us to then be ready to settle down and start a family :) Hopefully we get a few more awesome trips planned in there too; we are thinking Greece for the honeymoon! 

We are going with a "Travel" theme focusing on places we’ve been together and other important places in our lives. I am planning to have each table at the ceremony represent a "place" (Instead of being at table 12 you'll be seated in Berlin, where we spent Christmas this year) Centerpieces will include an antique picture frame with a couple snap shots and blurb about why each place is special to us along with other "vintage" "travel" inspired things. I also plan to DIY some decor using old maps as an underlying theme and to give us the color palette. 
 

We deserve this prize because we think we have an Amazing Love Story!! And with Max still in school and not working yet it would help us ease the expense of the wedding. My parents will be pitching in, but Max's side is not in any position to help out financially, so we will be covering a great deal of expense on our own. We would LOVE to win the photography package and have you help us share our Amazing Love Story!