If My Voicemail is Full...

My voicemail is almost constantly full or near capacity.

I am a person of great contradiction.

These two thoughts are actually related.

I realized some time ago that I rarely talk on the phone anymore, to anyone. When I was in junior high and high school, you couldn’t get me OFF the phone. But with a career, a spouse, and a child, evenings and weekends seem to fill up quickly and not leave a lot of time for long chats on the phone. Even with some of the people I love most in this world.

Yet, I went through and resaved what seemed like a million voicemail messages again the other day, just to get to a new one. I realized I have been doing this since 2008, and some of them have been on there that long. My sister Maureen’s first message to me after I had my daughter...a Christmas message from my sister Brenda...a message from my baby sister, Kayla….one from my Mom, my Dad, Marc, my mother-in-law…the list goes on.

Why would somebody save messages from people they can just pick up the phone and talk to? Because on an August day in 2008, I fully realized someday I might not be able to. And what has stuck with me all of these years later is watching my husband on that August day, calling his Dad’s cell phone after he died, just so he could hear his voice one more time. I realized that when someone dies, their loved ones look for something, ANYTHING tangible they can hold onto. And so I started saving messages.

So, if I don’t get to talk to you on the phone as often as I’d like, please know that I am loving you and holding onto you with all my heart.

And if my voicemail is full, know that the space is being used for those closest to my heart. And, as soon as I figure out how to save them, I will make room for your message too.