A Conversation with my Dog

We have an amazing German Shepherd. She's incredibly smart and fiercely loyal. But, as I found out the other night, she's no Lassie.

So, without going into all the details, I found myself in the position of being stuck on the bathroom floor in a whole lot of pain last week and needing some serious assistance. Marc was asleep, so I called for Freddie, thinking I could send her for help. Here is how that conversation went:

Me: "Freddie, come here."

She comes in the bathroom and licks my face.

Me: "Freddie, go get Daddy."

She licks my face again.

Me: "No Freddie, Go.Get.Daddy."

She goes to lay down on her bed. I call her back.

Me: "Freddie," I say, "GO.GET.DADDY."

She licks my face again and goes and lays down on her bed.

Me: "I f***ing hate you, dog."

This weekend I will be teaching my dog a new, useful trick. Like "Go Get Daddy!"

*Sidenote: I do not, in fact, actually hate my dog. So please don't call the ASPCA or PETA or anything on me. I was in a lot of pain. lol