As I get ready to begin my third season of shooting weddings under my own business name, I have been thinking about how I got started and where I want to go with my photography. Even though I am learning and doubting and critiquing myself still, stopping to take a look in the rearview mirror of life definitely gives you perspective on how far you've come. It's important to do this because it's very easy when doing something that's very subjective (like photography) to be very hard on yourself and feel like you are the worst photographer that's ever picked up a camera and that you'll never know as much, or be as good as, the others whose work you admire.
It's easy to get discouraged because you want to know everything, but you have to accept that you can't and that it's always a learning process - that even photographers that have been doing this for 25 years are still constantly learning. So you just try to soak up as much knowledge as you can from as many sources as possible. My husband, who is of course my biggest cheerleader, always says that as long as I feel like I'm improving from one wedding to the next, that I like each one's results more than the last and I've done or learned something new each time, that's all that matters. Again, I'm my own biggest critic and he is kind of legally required to be my biggest supporter, but I know he's right. I just have to learn to believe in myself as much as he does.
Does anyone else feel this way?
The second part of this post is for the clients, and potential clients, not just mine, but anyone who is looking for a wedding photographer. What I want to talk about is knowing and liking your photographer as a person, which is much different than just liking their photos and their photography style. Of course, finding someone whose photography style matches what you are looking for is important, no doubt about that - your photos and your album will be the one tangible thing that remains long after the cake has been cut, the music has ended, and the dress has been put away.
But the reason I bring this up is because, although I am really lucky that at this point the majority of my brides are referrals (which I LOVE!!!) , I do still have some couples that book my services sight unseen. Not the photos, me. I usually try to meet up with all of my clients before they actually book me, not only so they can view my work, but so that we can both get a feel for each other and decide if the fit feels right. Given the amount of time we will spend together, from the engagement session to the wedding day (which usually adds up to about 12 hours - yes, I'm there with you allll day!) to post-production and album design...while we don't have to be best friends, mutual affection is most definitely a plus! In addition to that, if you have someone photographing you that, let's say, kind of aggravates you, or you don't really care for, that person is not going to be able to bring out the best in you. And it will show in your photos, believe me.
So! On that note, and because of the proliferation of couples weeding out potential photographers on the Internet before even making contact, I think it's really important to put yourself out there so that potential brides and grooms can get a good idea of who you are. I am going to work hard to do that more - you know, maybe I'll put something out there about myself, like 'I cannot stand water chestnuts.' (It's true, the texture or something, it drives me nuts. It's like an apple, but NOT an apple. Ugh!!) Ok, so now I've put that out there - maybe a potential client just read that and thought 'She's obviously crazy. Water chestnuts are AMAZING. I do NOT like this nutty, water-chestnut-hating loon of a person.' And that's ok, because maybe another client will come along and go 'Yes!! She is so right!', and in that moment, feel a connection with me, feel like we're compatible in some odd, water-chestnut-hating way.
Do not underestimate compatibility and mutual affection's effect on photography. If you still doubt me, think about this...who do you smile more easily and naturally for - a friend you know and love, or a complete stranger behind a camera?
Ok, so here are some brief facts or quirks about me that I can think of off the top of my head. Hopefully this doesn't make potential couples everywhere run the opposite direction.
- I am married to a man who puts my cooking to shame. Seriously, I like to cook and LOVE to bake, but he is a genius in the kitchen. It used to make me jealous, but now I've decided to just enjoy and reap the benefits.
- I have a daughter who is just amazing. She totally rules my world, but I try not to let on so much, otherwise her little feet will truly walk ALL over me. I'm pretty sure she has my number though. :)
- I also have a bonus son who is a teenager, so I have a balance of one child that adores me and one that probably thinks I am ridiculously uncool. It keeps a person grounded. :) He is also amazing, and is now driving and has a job and is hopefully not doing all the stuff I was doing at 16. :)
- I have a very whiny but lovable German Shepherd that we've had for five years, and a fish we've somehow managed to keep alive for over a year. This, in our house, is an amazing feat.
- On that note, I once killed a fern. I'm pretty sure that's not even supposed to be possible.
- As mentioned previously, I hate water chestnuts.
- I love chocolate and all things pastry and bread-related with a passion. Unnaturally so. I recently found out we were getting a new bakery and immediately alerted EVERYONE I knew.
- My husband and I once tried the South Beach Diet. I lasted 3 days. I needs my bread.
- I am a hard-ass about spelling and grammar. (disregard previous 'I needs my bread' statement above)
- If I could live anywhere else in the world, it would be New York City, hands down. I am, for lack of a better word, obsessed with that city. I went there two years ago for the first time, thinking I would get it out of my system, but it only made things worse. I ADORE New York City.
- Fall, Autumn, whatever you want to call it, is my most favorite season. The changing colors on the leaves, sweaters, hot cocoa - I love everything about it. Except that winter comes along and ruins it for me.
- I always stop the microwave before it gets to the end - the beep when it's done drives me nuts. I'll leap across the room just to stop it before that stupid beep. I know, clearly I have issues. :)
- I NEVER get tired of watching two people in love start their lives together, and sometimes the emotion of it all and knowing what's in store for them (having been married now for almost a decade!) gets me. Do not be surprised if I cry or get teary at your wedding. It just means I really, really like you.
